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根っこ

自分の行動や発言が何に根ざしているのかということを、ときどき立ち止まって振り返る。振り返るだけじゃなくて、内省し軌道修正することも心がける。私欲に根ざさぬように。

私欲で暴利を貪りようのない一社会人としては、公の立場でこのように自分を律することは心がけやすい。けれど、家族というプライベートな関係では、本当に根っこを見誤りやすい。よ~く目を凝らしても、心に問うても、自分で自分を巧みにだましたり洗脳したりしてしまう自分がいることを自覚しつつも、尚見誤り、軌道修正はおろか内省すらもままならない。

多かれ少なかれ、親はそういうものであり、私心なく子育てをするなんてことは出来ないのだろう。だから子どもには、思春期や反抗期を経て自立することが必要なんだと思う。

今「トップアスリート 天使と悪魔の心理学」という本を読んでいる。残念なことに、共訳になっているせいか、私に心理学の知識がないからか、うまく読み取れないことが多く、読み足りないジレンマを抱えながら読み進んでいるのだけれど、以下のような趣旨の一文を見つけた。

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両親に要求される桁はずれに難しいこと。それは、いかにして独立したアイデンティティという観念を子どもに教え、その観念の成長を促し、親自身の感情面の不安やかなわなかった希望を子どもたちに注ぎ込まないよう心をつくすかである。

子どもが健全に成長するには両親は自らを抑え、子どもの心の状態は自分たちの感情や欲望とは別物であると切り離して考えることが不可欠である。

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確かに、桁はずれに難しい。けれど、心がけたい…とは思っている。

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Comments

ほんとに難しいよねえ。
私も全く出来てません。
でも、時々立ち止まって冷静に自分を見ることは大事だね。
こまめにやればやるほど、大きな脱線だけはまぬがれそうだし。

Posted by: ワイン | May 09, 2011 at 15:03

できていない自覚は、”できる”への第一歩。
とは思うけれど、その次の一歩一歩の難しさを痛感するね。
プライベートになると自制がきかないワタシ^^;
でも投げ出すわけにはいかない、大切な心がけだと思うのです。

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